Anais Anstase [Marine]

Character Sheet

Personal Information

First Name: Anais
Last Name: Anastase
Nickname: NA
Birth date: 31th of December
Age: 26
Weight: 58 Kg
Height: 168 Cm

Eye colour: Black
Hair colour: Black

Appearance:

Lo and behold, a woman in the last stages of her third decade with a mediocre build and stature stands before you, definitely not one made for the pleasantries of close quarters combat since she never needed to. Aside from that, the most striking feature and most odd one, she always keeps one eye hidden but if one knows her well, they wouldn’t be that surprised.

Those who look into this one eye and before we delve more, it must be noted that according to her mood, sometimes she hides her right eye and other times the left. Yes, those who would look into her one eye would feel the relentless resolve which is truly quite problematic. Having striking eyes is not a sign of beauty but mostly the contrary to it. Sharp eyebrows outline those eyes and eventually a small nose in between would be seen. Thanks to her nick-length black hair like pitch that doesn’t tread farther. Her ears are hidden and no one could tell if they were small or big. And due to the same reason, the same said hair which hides one of her eyes hides half of her face. It can be said that her face is rather small as for her mouth, it is small as well.

That pretty sums it up; the only remaining detail that worth mentioning that she is always frowning and her skin is creamy white and that can only be told from her face.


Special features: She always keeps her hygiene and ensures that she is always odorless.

Clothing:

She is always well dressed and well dressed means she never shows her skin due to her line of work for that reason. She is a smith, so it would be expected to see her in a black suit with the very well known white leather type smith apron. White protective gloves complement the whole outfit.

But she doesn’t dwell always within the domain of her armory. When she gets out and she gets out for only two purposes which are delivering some merchandise or going for her other main profession which is hunting.

She would be dressed from above in a leather padded blue shirt giving her a small amount of protection in the time of need and of course, the blue pants made from cotton or wool depending on the season. And like any huntress, she wears black leather padded long boots that reaches her knees and gloves of the same material would reach her elbows.

As for the marine outfit, she is dressed in the same attire of seaman recruit.

Origin and family

Origin: West blue, Illusia

Family: Her family lives within Illusia as well. Anais comes from a family that suffers financial problems due to the divorce that divided what was whole into two. She was living with her mother who owns an armory and blacksmith. The income was indeed good however having another sister of hers that is very sick prompted Anais to join the marine force seeking the wealth that would save her sister.


Personality

Personality:

Anais is pretty kind hearted otherwise she wouldn’t have thrown herself into being a marine. However her warm attitude doesn’t reach many as she is not the talkative type and this is not due to being aloof or a loner. It is because her mind is always focusing on the objective and for that reason she will seem all time subjective to the situation at hand and would talk really rational.

However all of this is because of her chosen profession of being smith. So she is an engineer of sorts working most of the day with steel and other materials forcing her to think systemically and to show mostly a cold demeanor.

There is as well her patience a requirement that must be met in order to be in successful in the ways of the smith and most importantly to be a successful sniper. She could work for hours without giving a single sigh in the armory and she wouldn’t feel any boredom while in the wait for the prey to show itself.

Lastly but not the least, she has a creative and open mind that would surely unlock her vast potential in the future.

Appearance and behavior:

Anais greatest asset and worst attribute that she has no presence and can quickly blend within the environment. So mostly, it is really hard to remember her. Within the crew, when her name is being mentioned, people begin to scratch there heads trying to remember and then this comment would come “Oh, that woman” even her name they couldn’t remember.

But if other was able to spot her around, they would see that her stance while moving is not that of a girl, it is rather more of a responsible woman, so she is direct and to the point moving in quickness and haste. But others as well would find her mannerisms of speech matching the way she walks that if they were able to have a conversation with her. And that somehow rarely happens as most of the time she is really busy.

She has the tactical mindset of a sniper and a sniper is as vicious as a wolf always in the wait for it’s pray to show a weakness or for them to drop their guard to pull the trigger. And so as a sniper, her eye quickly picks the best vantage points that would offer the most suitable view and the protection for her to begin the hunt. While in this mode, she is a lone wolf always opting to work alone.

As it goes, it never come personal when she deals her enemies, the obstacles she would encounter and would remove. But to her friends, the ones they call her a friend, the ones who were able to remember her bland forgetful face. In their aid, she would come running.

Other than that, she is a tech freak despite her not showing it. She always like to visit other armories and blacksmith to see what kind of weapons and armors they would offer. In such situations, she doesn’t feel the time slipping by and would give a ‘huh’ when he discovers how time went by quickly.

Interests and Hobbies:

Anais never had the time to have interest and hobbies so eventually her interest became her job as a smith and as a huntress wielding a rifle. She finds great joy when bringing life to creations that would serve a better purpose like armor protecting people or weapons that would do the same. Her gentle nature would be seen when she tends to broken weapons, splintered shields, shattered armors and damaged canons back to life resurrecting them to their former glory.

And of course, the great hunt. That’s when her eye sparkles in anticipation with resolve of steel, of the thrill that she would feel and the honor of bringing down the prey. Indeed, there is nothing better than the hunt and nothing better to fight a worthy opponent.

Preferences: Armors, shields, weapons, hunting, mending, repairing and constructing.
Dislikes: shattered armors, splintered shields, broken weapons, failing to hunt the prey.

Goals: To bring her family the money needed for medication besides that she would love to find the most famed seastone for the making. Lastly she wanted to claim the title of the best hunter ever.


History

There is nothing special about Anais’s past. They were happy family once and they lived well holding all into each other in the times of joy and distress. But things went bad when differences happened between the parents. After ten years of struggle, the couple divorced. It would seem very saddening however after ten years of constant pressure, the separation came like the relief they always waited, both sides that is.

Anais chose her mother’s side and without delving to what was the problem. She felt that her mother had the just cause and was the one to suffer the prejudice. And the most one sacrificing to keep them as a whole and there was her sickened sister that needed continuous attention.

She learned the ways of the smith from her mother and the ways of sharp shooting from her father. Such talents helped quite well in her endeavors. In the morning, she was with her mother aiding in the blacksmith and at night hunting in the wilds for animals to hunt, for them to eat. Probably would their pelts and skin to aid them in their morning work.

Despite getting a good income however the medications were costly and Anais found herself being driven to find another work that would prove worthy and in the long term would help her paying the fees. She joined the marines as a loyal citizen of Illusia to protect her beloved seeking the riches her job would offer.

In the first glance, it would be thought that her story is a bit cliché however if one would think about it. Weren’t there people out there suffering daily due to such circumstances?

Nothing awaits her but the seas and the unknown, with a rifle and hammer in her hands. Being assigned to north blue, the pitch black haired sniper found herself faring the seas relocating and leaving behind her home city and the blue seas of west blue to the blue seas of north blue. But the seas remained the same always blue, it was just the faces of the people which had changed. She was to be assigned under a young marine captain by the name of Jezebel Cueto. The lone huntress wondered and contemplated the name for a while, perhaps the sniper would know more after meeting the marine captain.

And that’s how her story begins.


Character Image



Avatar origin: Valkyria chronicles- Maria wulfstan.


Writing Sample

Prologue: The birth of a bruja.

The crying gulls were the first things to hail anyone who would approaches the harbor. It was very soothing every time such sounds reaching Anais’s ears. However that day it was a bit saddening for she was to leave her family behind, the very people she really wanted to stay with. She felt the burden over her shoulders, but quickly with her resolve she brushed it away opting to face the challenge straight on. There was nothing to fear, how many times she was able to survive perilous situations in the wilds to return back triumphant. How many hours she spent to repair what she thought impossible to mend.

It is the same case here, all what she needed was her wits and her open mind. She would survive this and someday she would return to live happily ever after. This was the ending that Anais sought and that was the ending the huntress would get.

Dressed in the marine uniform, she took the ladder to the ship to be assigned somewhere in north blue under the command of the marine captain, Jezebel Cueto.

She hoped for the best.

Status Sheet I

Attributes

Strenght (1) - 100 - Level 1
Stamina (1) - 100 - Level 1
Speed (4) – 872 - Level 2
Dexterity (1) - 100 - Level 1
Reaction (1) - 100 - Level 1
Concentration (4) - 2000 - Level 3


Battle-Expertise

Hand-to-Hand (2) - 0 - Level 0
Daggers (1) - 0 - Level 0
Swords(4) - 0 - Level 0
Axes (1) - 0 - Level 0
Katana (1) - 0 - Level 0
Chains & Strings (1) - 0 - Level 0
Blunt weapons (1) - 0 - Level 0
Poles (1) - 0 - Level 0
Twohanders (1) - 0 - Level 0
Bows (1) - 0 - Level 0
Firearms (4) - 800 - Level 2
Unconventional arms (1) – 0 - Level 0
Devil Fruit (1) – 0 - Level 0


Styles

Style Name: -

Weapons: -
Description: -

------------ Techniques ------------

Technique Name: -


Devil Fruit

Fruit Name: -

Type: -
Description: -

------------ D-Techniques ------------

Technique Name: -

Status Sheet II

Job Expertise

Navigator - 0 - Level 0
Doctor - 0 - Level 0
Cook - 0 - Level 0
Smith - 11 - Level 3 (M)
Carpenter - 0 - Level 0
Musician - 0 - Level 0

Scholar


------------ Job Skills ------------

--- Basic Skills ---

Reading & Writing

Job: Scholar - 0
Bonus: 0
Cost: 0

Description: The ability to read and write texts. Usually thaught in school and considered part of one's living standart. As the World Gouvernment established uniform language, everyone can read and understand everyone's writing.


Basic Math

Job: Scholar - 0
Bonus: 0
Cost: 0

Description: Elementary school grade math: Addition, subtraction, multiplying and division. Being able to perform these operations is basis for almost everything else.

--- Smith skills ---

Repair

Job: Smith - 0
Bonus: 1
Cost: 50

Description: Before creating from scratch comes the refreshing of what is already there. Repearing a damaged weapon, like sharpening a blade or rejoining an undone hilt is required much more often then new weapons - as it is also usually faster. Repearing only works for damaged weapons though, if it's completely broken, it's either thrash or needs to be reforged completely, a simple patchy repair won't do.

Create Firearms

Job: Smith - 1 (M)
Bonus: 3
Cost: 300

Description: The knowledge and training required to create basic firearms from scratch. Starter pieces are of low quality, with some training they are somewhat above commonly sold weapons.

Create Clothing

Job: Smith - 1
Bonus: 4 (M)
Cost: 400 (M)

Description: Contains the knowledge about making reasonable clothing from various materials like cloth, wool, strings as well as wood and many minerals for armor.
- Regular clothing from common cloth material is the roundabout capability of a smith who trains in clothmaking.
- With some experience and the right materials, most costly clothing like extravagant dresses and noble suits can be made. Also, lightly armored pieces by employing thick leather.
- Using sturdy materials like steel, iron or other such, a smith of high experience in clothing may create protective gear in many shapes and forms.

Mechanic Traps

Job: Smith - 2
Bonus: 3
Cost: 300

Description: Being able to understand easy mechanics can be a helpful skill when trying to set up surprises and ambushes involving traps triggered by some action performed by some person. Useful for trapping animals and foes alike, a standard procedure are tripwires, nets, pits and such. Smithes used to creating ingenious mechanic reactions can rig up more complex and possibly more dangerous traps as well, and are faster at devising a trap spontaneously.



Equipment

- Flintlock musket
- Repairing hammer – mainly she uses the blacksmith within the marine facilities but she brought with her own hammer since she is used to it. This time is used to make quick repairs while in battle
- Machete
- Machete sheath
- Trap utilities: Tripwire 50 m, Tripwire mines - Triggered when tripping through the tripwire, a flintlock would spark the gunpowder inside to fire shrapnel at foe – courtesy of mechanic traps.

Firstly, formal tip: There does not need to be a . after every single information. For future reference.

Also, as i see in the first sentence, i see first person. While that reads nice and sounds nice and whatnot, it's kind of less well suited for descriptions of things, because it always holds a certain subtle "subjective flavour" instead of a more objective style - additionally, it's kind of difficult to extract the data of actual worth from the text if it is written that flowery. Also, for future reference.
(Also, the rules have a bit on this matter.

Postings are usually written in past tense narrative style, which means: text should be written in the way that events have already happened and are being told to someone instead of commentation on presently happening actions.

While i am not looking to nitpick and punish for mediocrity, a third person would be more then appreciated for future endeavors.)

The attire you describe sounds much like the ones for any marines of rank "ensign" or higher - which is pretty high already - the first of the commissioned officers (because they are the first rank allowed to wear uniforms with coats). I think that is a bit high for a character who had just started their journeys. Also, hats are standard with the marine forces from the recruit up. Look up canon One Piece marine ranks and their roundabout attires with some of the many wikis.

Not sure if that's me with the fancy writing or the text itself. I can't really make out the actual personality at all. All i see is a flowery description of "I'm a great actor and adapt to people." Which is more suited to the behavior paragraph then the personality paragraph. Personality is the characters personality as it is. How they think, whey they think as they do, how they treat their emotions etc. regardless of what they do or pretend or show. And, yes, every person has a character of their own.

Appearance and behavior also totally does not profit too well from this style of writing. This is supposed to detail on how a character acts, how they are generally perceived by others etc. What i see here is the description of different roles (as mention before, these are apparently mostly acts) by different people, how does this describe the character generally for when others meet the character? This will probably need a lot of reworking in context with the part before itself. Tread shorter if you can't get the point across otherwise. It's not about writing fancy, it's about writing in a way so that people can read it and can imagine the character.

Reading history, i keep seeing kind of messed up constructs of sentences, you seem to get all tied up in your own sentences, so some words are double, some are missing, sometimes front and back of a sentence don't fit together too well.

Pick one character image. Preferably so that it does not cause sideways scrolling and don't use a spoiler. If that were required, i would have put it in the template.


Status Sheet I
You assigned 13 E-levels for your attributes, you have only 12 to assign as per the rules, so you need to cut one of them shorter - in reaction to that, you will have to assign your exp anew, as the cost for attributes will change (also watch for your techniques and skills when you redo the EXP redistribution).
Add in the correct styles and techniques once they are approved, just a reminder.

Status Sheet II
Please refer to the correct templates for the skills you have chosen.

If the Katana is anything special, like unusual measurements or material or anything, it needs to be approved as a weapon - in return, if it's just like any standard katana, just listing katana is enough.
Simplify the rifle. We don't use specifics, different kinds of ammunition, statistics and the likes. If it's a rifle, mention it's a rifle, maybe the type, such as musket or whatever. Naturally, if it's something unique, it might need approval via creations. Gunnery in One Piece is mostly flintlocks (without the need to frontload with gunpowder and ball every time) and cannons, so there is no fancy ammunitions normally - just metal balls for projectiles.

Also, specify what's roughly included in the "first aid and wounds treating" package..

After edit: I made this new character, please review it.

Thanks very much.

While it's not as fancy as the original revision of character you had, this isn't any less finely written.
Besides the oddball hiccup in spelling or a missing word, from that standpoint i can only say: try looking for alternatives instead of referencing in every sentence with "she", it reads like a list otherwise. If that's just side flaw from redoing this fast, or a constant trend, we'll have to see - just bear it in mind.

Origin, That would be the first character in the west blue, could get kinda lonely - was this purposefully or has she changed location since?

History is a wee bit on the short side, but not horribly short. It's sufficient for a normal person - not everywhere does fancy stuff happen, nor does it have to.

Sheet II
Set the other jobs to Bonus 0 and level 0, if you can - uniformity's sake.
Also please look up the correct templates for your jobskills, best extracted from the
Creation Rules.

1-Ah, thank you very much and don't worry, I shall get that covered in my future RPing here.

2-Actually, she was meant to be under Jezebel's command. Anais relocated to the north, I edited a bit her history to show that.

3-Well, I meant to keep her history bland. Anais is the normal woman who found herself faring against dangers due to her ill circumstances which is the case for the most of the people. But again, no worries. I shall in my future characters make a lengthier history.

4-Done and done.

And for some reason, I can't edit my name through the profile tab--> information tab. I don't know if such would be available after application approval, advice is required.

Looking good so far then. Approved.
Second opinion, go!

Define the role of the tripwire. If this is a claymore mine, wouldn't it be a proximity type of mine that depends on sensory rather than touch to detonate? If so, do change the mine's name to reflect it better to avoid any misunderstandings. Tripwire mine would be the better choice if that is what you are going for.

Yes, indeed. It was the tripwire mine which I was looking for. Thanks for the head up and done.

Now that's out of the way, I hereby bestow an... APPROVAL.